The more I’ve been coming to the realisation that I am a spirit living a human existence, the more I’ve been thinking about the life choices my soul made before I began this human life.
I have the feeling that when it came to choosing my parents I was like an excited child in a sweet shop. There were just so many choices, and metaphorically speaking, I filled my pink striped sweetie bag with the many personality traits and ensuing emotions that I wanted to experience during my upbringing. A real mixture of sweet and sour, soft and crunchy, chewy and creamy, fruity and nutty! I am sure my guides must have been exasperated trying to find parents that would fulfill my criteria. I think on the whole they did fairly well!
I was born the youngest of identical twins, with a brother five years older than us and we had to share parents who were definitely interesting and would certainly teach us many different and opposing lessons.
My Dad, known as Ken, was tall and slim with broad shoulders, sandy wavy hair, and the most wonderful twinkling blue eyes. He was a charmer, with a fantastic dry wit and I could see why my Mum had initially fallen him.
Dad and his twin sister Mary were born in 1926, into a large and very poor working class family in Hendon, North London. His Mother Selina, was known as ‘the girl with second sight’ in the village where she was born in Scotland and Dad said she always ‘knew’ things that were unexplainable.
My Mum, Sheila, was four years younger than Dad and although she lived less than three miles from him, in Golders Green, their upbringings were poles apart. There were many romanticized rumours of Irish blood, a Hungarian Jewess and even a Marquis somewhere in her ancestry. Mum was raised in a liberated, educated, middle-class environment, as an only child, by her Father Ray, and an eclectic collection of aunts. She was told her Mother, whom her Father had not married, had abandoned her when she was a baby.
Mum was very attractive, tall, possessing a wonderful perfect 36:24:36 figure, with shapely long legs, silky mahogany hair and huge brown eyes framed by incredible, natural long eye lashes she always attracted the attention of men.
The saying ‘opposites attract’ could have been written with Mum and Dad in mind.
Mum would like to invite many friends round, put on loud music and dance around the sitting room singing and laughing. Dad would prefer to sit quietly, reading a book or listening to classical music. Mum was liberal and carefree as a parent, Dad was strict and ensured that his long list of rules were adhered to.
Mum loved to go out and socialize, whereas Dad would prefer to be at home pottering around the garden. Mum was a free spirit and hated being tied down to routine, Dad insisted that Sunday lunch was on the table at exactly 1 o’clock and tea at 5 o’clock, not a minute later.
Dad was a saver and didn’t like to spend money if he could possibly help it, Mum loved nothing more than going shopping!
Their marriage was a match made in hell in so many ways. Why they ever married I never really understood. Was it my fault? Was it my ‘parent order’, made many years before in the universal sweet shop, that made them meet and marry? Or, had there souls asked, maybe even jointly, to experience a fifty year marriage to a partner with absolutely nothing in common? I hope to find out one day.
My parents were, separately, great people, but together, my goodness, sparks flying is the understatement of the year! Mum’s temper was instant and would flare within moments, my Dad would simmer and then explode like a violent volcano. What a combination! Did I really ask to experience these traits? I must have done, but with hindsight I feel just one parent with a temper would have been enough.
As we became older, their rows became more physical. More and more of their possessions were smashed, damaged and broken as they hurled them at each other. Luckily neither of them were good shots and they very rarely managed to hit their targets!
I can’t even begin to count how many times one or the other left. Normally in the middle of a heated row a few items would be hurriedly stuffed into a few carrier bags and we children would be wondering who was leaving this time. If our Mother left we would normally leave with her, and in a strange way it was always an adventure full of excitement and wonderment. We wouldn’t know where we were going or who we’d be staying with. In fact it was through many of these surprise breaks from home that we got to know some of our more interesting far-flung relatives, who I am sure we would have never met under normal circumstances. Then, sometimes within a few days, or at most a couple of months, there would be an emotional reunion, all would be forgiven (but I am sure not forgotten), the family would be back together again and the house would be full of love and laughter again.
As I said, separately, they were marvellous parents. I learnt so many different facets of life from each of them. Dad had a wonderful way of bringing nature to life. We would spend many hours in the garden together where he would teach me the magic of growing the most beautiful plants. We discussed the wonderment of mother earth and the natural beauty of the planet. He taught me that divine power was within everyone and everything.
I would sit holding his huge hands whilst we would be listening to the most haunting classical music, both of us with tears rolling down our cheeks, almost unable to cope with the emotions the music would arouse in us. I shared a very close spiritual connection with my Dad from my earliest memory and I am sure that it will transpire that we have been together in many lives before.
With a wicked sense of humour Dad would have the whole house full of laughter. He had a wonderful collection of his own stories that we would beg him to re-tell again and again, many of them included mystical creatures with the most wonderful names, like Ika-mo-blob-a-spit, who I remember was a special dragon with magical powers.
Dad had been aware of spirit since he was five when his twin sister, Mary, had been killed in a road accident. He had seen her throughout his childhood and still spoke to her as I was growing up. He also used to spend time talking to my late Grandfather, who had died before I was even born.
Mum was always extremely well-groomed, with her perfectly applied make up, and looking more like a model than a Mum, she was surprisingly cuddly and very caring. She adored playing with us and had an enormous amount of patience helping us with our schoolwork. She always said that her favourite time in her whole life was when we were all young. I think having missed out on a Mother’s love in her own childhood she never wanted us to feel the loss and pain she had felt.
She was a fantastic cook and we would spend hours preparing big family dinners together. She’d always have popular music blaring out of the record player and depending on what was playing we would often stop cooking and be jiving and bopping around the kitchen.
She was a very good medium herself although she only used her gifts to help those who were close to her. Interested in all things spiritual, Mum often took herself off to what I thought at the time were mysterious meetings. She would come home and tell me all about it, but I was too afraid to pay much attention, but I do remember that her guide was a gypsy girl called Topsy. That terrified me, thinking that Topsy would appear at any moment as I was sure that she would be hiding in the house somewhere and would be watching me.
Mum instilled rules for life in me that I still try to live by. Her overwhelming wish was that everyone would treat each other as they would like to be treated. She would do anything for anyone and over the years I saw her befriend and help many people. It was just a shame that she and my Father didn’t adhere to the same philosophy when it came to their own relationship!
Every house we lived in was full of spirits. All of us were aware of them. I often saw faces on walls, people at windows and shadows moving across the landing. As I grew older more and more things would be happening to all of us, no matter which house we lived in. My most worrying times were when the towels would be moved from the towel rail in the bathroom. You could just be sitting on the loo and watch them, one by one, fall onto the floor. I used to be too afraid to move and would yell for Mum to come and rescue me. She’d always walk in and just say “God Bless You, now please leave” and tell me everything would be fine, but it was never fine for very long.
I question now if there was so much energy in our house due to the heightened emotions of my parents.
Throughout their lives they both suffered with serious illnesses and it was during these times that their love for each other really shone out. The only problem was that when both were well they would start arguing, all over again!
I asked for a mixed bag of sweets, and that’s certainly what I received. I can’t imagine now having any other parents who would have given me such a broad spectrum of emotions and experiences throughout my childhood. Yes, I would have preferred them not have spent so much arguing, but then I am sure that within their difficult relationship were lessons for all of us within the family.
I do think that we tend to concentrate on the lessons we are taught by our parents, but what we must not forget is that they too are developing spirits, and would have chosen souls with our attributes to be their children. What a massive testament to the incredible organisational skills of spirit to bring together the right people, in the right place and at the right time. I can only imagine that from the millions of souls they look for a ‘best fit’. What a headache it must be!
My parents love was the greatest gift I ever received. My childhood wasn’t calm, rarely plain sailing, it wasn’t often easy, but what it showed me is that love overcomes everything and is everything.
Hand in Hand with Spirit 